Do you also feel it, this routine that exhausts us, this daily grind that bores us?
Everything is fine, we lack nothing, baby is in good health. And yet, between diapers, bottles or breastfeeding, laundry, meal preparations, school schedules, and obligations, we can feel that this routine puts us to sleep. So we love them dearly, huh! All of them: the little ones, the big ones, my partner... And despite this powerful love and these countless tirelessly repeated tasks, with baby snug on the hip in a sling , we get bored... and sometimes even, we feel guilty for not doing enough, for not being enough... While we don't stop for a minute!
Rest assured:
- You are not the only person feeling this way
- This does not diminish your parenting skills
- The love you have for your family is not questioned
You can join a parent support group
And yes, I know... We all dream of a bit of adventure, travel, big meetings, our fulfilling great job... But motherhood and cocooning sometimes have this little imprisoning side, which could trap us in feelings of devaluation! Indeed, the society of doing, of doing quickly and showing everything to everyone, does not help to highlight the background work, invisible and repetitive, of a parent, and I would even say, of a mom... The amazing dads, I haven't forgotten you, but I am sure you will agree with me that all these daily tasks are unfortunately still not shared enough within households, and are far too often the domain, not always chosen, of women. This is all the more true during maternity or parental leave.
And surely, it doesn't help either, to:
- Not have time to get dressed before 3 p.m., because baby keeps you busy
- Have dark circles under your eyes because you haven't had a full night's sleep in months
- Wear your maternity sweatpants because you haven't found the time to buy new pants
- Forget the last visit to the hairdresser...
- Take a shower quietly at 11 p.m. when everyone is finally asleep
- Never have 10 minutes alone, not even in the bathroom
- And I forget others!
So, when you catch yourself mumbling for the umpteenth time "I still haven't had time to do anything today", know that it's not true! I invite you to list everything you accomplish and achieve during the day, believe me, you will be positively surprised by the result!
- Think to ask for help from your surroundings
- Call a resource person who will tell you how fantastic you are
And when you start doubting your skills because you just broke the record for changing the 2000th diaper, don't forget that :
- You are the best person for your child
- Try to set achievable short-term goals and see them come true
- And of course: carrying your child can help you (see article all the times carrying saved my life)
But giving birth and raising a little being, love and education, takes time!
Nature does things without rushing, and yet everything is accomplished. Lao Tzu
And in a system where everything goes very fast, where everything changes all the time, we sometimes tend to forget it. Let's try to cultivate values of patience, perseverance, resignation, and ... humor, always.
"You are annoyed to launch a new layette machine because baby decided to redecorate all these pajamas in vomit color?
Tell yourself that in 15 years, you will be hanging football socks or crop tops to dry!"
And ... We can also look at this monotony from a positive angle. Because this dense and ritualized way of life allows us to juggle multiple tasks. A bit of perspective helps us see that we are getting there, come what may, day after day, without failing. And finally, when we realize that not everyone has the chance to live this cozy purr, it becomes much softer, even precious.
Cooking is the factory
Anne Sylvestre
Where the day is prepared
We hum, we bottle-feed
The coffee is willing to pass
Bread slices, boots
We do everything at the same time
We dress one or two girls
The day has begun
Mechanical work
In the morning gestures
The gestures we know well
It's nothing, it's daily happiness
