Though it seems both distant and close, that time when your little heart measured 50cm and fell asleep cuddled against you in the sling in just seconds... Now babychou has grown, and the setups look more like a wrestling match than a gentle moment of relaxation.
Won't it end up being too heavy? Is carrying still possible (and desirable) with a larger child?
The needs of the toddler
When discussing carrying a growing child, the common argument heard is that anyway, from 1 or 2 years old, they will walk, implying that it will no longer be necessary to carry them. On paper, this is true; in reality, a little one will not have the same endurance as an adult and unless they are a very good walker, they will inevitably end their journey in the arms or on the shoulders of their caregiver.
You have understood it, even full of good will, your favorite can quickly become tired and need a break. They may also have been scared of something (a barking dog, a honking car...) and thus need a big cuddle to reassure themselves. The planned trip could be longer than expected, or after a somewhat exhausting day at daycare.
Whether you like it or not, your toddler will end up on you if they are no longer able to walk! Planning a baby carrier allows you to meet their need for rest and/or contact, without ruining your back and neck in the process. Look up to what ages strollers are typically used for difficult trips, extrapolate for the baby carrier.
The physical limits of the carrier
The question of the child's weight is also a recurring topic when discussing the continuity of carrying over several years.
Three important notions should be highlighted:
The first is that you do not suddenly wake up one morning thinking, “Well, if I carry my 3-year-old, 15kg child whom I have never carried before...” At least, this is strongly discouraged! Carrying is part of a continuity since birth. We handle a newborn of 3kg, then 4, 5... Our body gradually and gently adapts to the increasing load, we strengthen our muscles, and we gradually adjust our postures as well.
Then, outside of pathology or disability, a larger child fortunately does not have the same needs as a newborn! If the toddler can stay with their parents for several hours a day, the 2-year-old will alternate walking and carrying and we will have them on us only in small chunks of 10-15 minutes.
Finally, from a purely physical point of view, it is considered that the child's weight begins to impact the health of its carrier from 30% of their weight. Understand that if you weigh 70kg, your toddler will start to feel quite heavy from about 21kg (which is roughly around 6 years old...
That leaves some margin!). These are obviously trends, which should be adapted to your form (someone sporty will support a heavier load) and the duration of carrying (the impact is not the same for 5 minutes or 2 hours).
Generally speaking, we will favor installations on the back, which put less strain on the carrier's body.
Choosing your equipment
Parents of a child in the terrible twos know it: they live dangerously! Their child is in the midst of an emotional hurricane and transitions seamlessly from total cooperation in good humor to a remake of The Exorcist, all over a dark story about an open cookie bag when he wanted to do it himself like a big kid (even if 10 seconds before he asked for help to do it, that doesn’t count).
Your child is walking well and you think, "We no longer need a carrying system"? That’s ignoring the duality of said carrier. Scenario, starting a walk:
"I want to walk! I want to walk!!!"
You wanted to go left? Too bad, here he is going right.
After 100 meters, he clings to your leg whining, you have to carry him.
100 meters later, he saw a butterfly, he wants to walk.
Another 100 meters, he’s back on the verge of despair, he needs to be carried.
Another 100 meters, "Oh!!! a dead leaf!!! I want to walk!!!"
etc
As you can see, the babywearing sling is definitely not the recommended system in this kind of situation (lest you have to fight a furious urge to make him swallow it after 300 meters... without salt...). Too tedious to install/uninstall every 3 minutes!
A preformed baby carrier clipped to the waist, a sling, or even a support for carrying on the arms like Hop-la allow you to climb or descend your little sprite without a headache. The type of material will also depend on the length of the walk; if it’s a bit long, it’s better to favor the comfort of the preformed, if it’s for a shorter trip, a sling or Hop-la might suffice!
Another argument in favor of these systems: they all allow quick setup, which is not negligible when you have to deal with a grenade ready to explode (meaning: a child not at all cooperative who won’t give you time to make your little adjustments calmly). They are also all compact, and better tolerated by little ones discovering their motor skills and who love to move freely without feeling restricted.
Everyday constraints
You cannot discuss carrying a growing child without also mentioning the daily life of the family, and the constraints associated with it.
Having a walking child also means accepting going at their pace. Is your usual home-nanny commute taking 5 minutes? It will probably take 30. If you're lucky. Sorry, preparing the meal cannot compete with the beautiful pebble that little Choupinou just found and absolutely wants to take the time to admire. In an ideal world, we could take the time to admire all the pebbles on the path, but in real life, you will sometimes have to speed up a bit and carry your child to arrive at your destination within a reasonable timeframe.
Depending on the environment, it may sometimes be difficult to let your child walk because they will not be safe. Either because the area is full of too many tempting dangers, or because your little one is tired and switches to headless chicken mode, running around without thinking or paying attention to their surroundings. Putting them on you is then a good way to keep them safe. This is often useful, for example, for city trips when crossing multiple busy roads.
It goes without saying that it is unlikely they will agree with your way of seeing things in these moments (fatigue doesn’t help with cooperation), so we come back to the previous point: choose a system where you can zip them up while they scream and fight. It should also be noted that it is safer in these conditions to use a carrying system than just your arms, from which they risk falling or escaping!
Finally, once at home, they might also seek your attention and cuddles while you have things to do. Picking them up for a little while then allows you to balance your needs and avoid tensions and frustrations. For example, you could place them on your back while preparing dinner, thus providing the necessary emotional support to decompress from their day, and a view of what you are doing to satisfy their natural curiosity and involve them in your daily life.
You understand, it’s not because a child is growing up that carrying them is no longer useful. Just like the advice given for a toddler, as long as you carry them, it’s better to use a carrying system and protect your body as much as possible! The baby carrier remains a weighty ally in daily life and preserves family peace.
