We dreamed of it, imagined it, waited for it… and now, at last, this little being born from your love, cuddled against its mother, demanding the breast at the slightest opportunity. Sometimes to feed, sometimes for reassurance, rocking, warming… Breastfeeding is much more than a simple nourishing act: it’s a bond, a mission, a full immersion.
And in this intense adventure, the mother is on the front line:
- Indispensable physically,
- Mentally invested with a mission of great importance,
- Hormonal shifts into hypervigilance and hypersensitivity.
A role as magnificent as it is demanding.
In this new dynamic, the co-parent can sometimes feel sidelined, even useless. When everything seems to rest on the mother, it’s natural to wonder: "What is my place?" or "How can I be useful if I can’t feed my baby?" These questions are legitimate, and they reflect a deep desire to be present, to support, to participate fully in this adventure.
And precisely, that’s where the role of the co-parent takes on its full meaning.
The role of the co-parent: much more than just a simple task A huge mission… and often idealized
Most mothers have read, listened to, learned everything there is to know about breastfeeding: prenatal classes, books, forums, apps… But in practice, few have had the opportunity to live day-to-day with a breastfeeding mother.
So they idealize. And that’s normal: what could be more magical than seeing your baby grow thanks to breast milk? But reality can sometimes be more complex, especially in a society that likes to measure, quantify, standardize… whereas breasts are not graduated.
The fundamental role of the co-parent
During this period of upheaval, the role of the co-parent is essential. Not to "replace," but to support, accompany, and value.Relieve daily burdens
The co-parent can lighten the mental and physical load of the mother by taking care of everything that can be handled: meals, shopping, laundry, cleaning… Because yes, even if she is "at home," she sometimes doesn’t even have time to shower as she is so absorbed by her baby.
Listen with kindness
Hormonal hypersensitivity can be surprising. The mother may seem different, more fragile, less confident in herself. Listening without judging, without trying to "fix" is already a lot.
Reassure gently
Remind each other of what you learned during pregnancy: the baby's feeding rhythm, signs that he is eating enough (diapers), growth spurts… It's time to take out your notes and work as a team.
Do together, not in her place
Take over, yes, but with delicacy. Doing too much can reinforce a feeling of incompetence already present. Better to do with her, and especially to value her: "You already understand our baby so well," "You do that with so much instinct."
Respect her need for proximity
Initially, the mother may think that a moment without the baby will do her good. But often, her mind remains preoccupied with him, and sleep does not come without his proximity. It’s normal, it’s hormonal.
Avoid radical solutions
When faced with crying or worry, it can be tempting to offer a bottle "just to see." But this solution, even well-intentioned, can be experienced as a failure: "He thinks I am not capable…" And this lack of confidence is often what causes breastfeeding to end earlier than planned.
A united team: baby, mom, co-parent
Breastfeeding is not just one person's business. It is a team project. Everyone has their role, their needs, their place. And if doubts or difficulties appear, there are breastfeeding professionals to support you, listen to you, guide you.
