Your maternity or parental leave is coming to an end and after a more or less long break, it's almost time for you to return to work.
How to prepare your return properly? What should you consider to make everything go smoothly? Let's try to cover it together?
Accepting the ambivalence of feelings related to returning to work
You love your baby and your heart breaks at the thought of leaving them in someone else's care…
BUT you are so happy to do something for yourself…
BUT it’s a heartbreaking feeling to leave your little one…
BUT there’s also joy in talking with adults!
You oscillate between intense joy and despair regarding this return to work, sometimes several times within the same hour.
Rest assured, you're not crazy!
You are just a normal mom experiencing all the ambivalence of feelings generated by contradictory emotions…
Within each of us can coexist multiple desires, not always aligned with each other, and it is completely legitimate to love your child more than anything, but also to get a bit tired of it and want to regain a bit of your active woman’s life… But despite everything, it’s still difficult to leave them with someone else and to part from them (even though we dream of that moment without them!).
Is there a magic solution to manage this? Unfortunately not. But knowing it’s normal is often already helpful!
NB: often it’s also guilt that sneaks into the celebration, returning to work does not make you a “less good mother”! You have the right to really want and be eager to return to your activity without it meaning that you don’t love your little one! It’s not a competition of who does more for their child, each family should find the balance that suits them according to their constraints.
Who will take care of my baby at the end of my maternity leave?
Returning to work means finding a childcare arrangement for your little one. The process can sometimes be delicate because it involves many constraints that depend on parameters sometimes beyond your control.
Some times of the year are more favorable for searching: especially September, or January. Indeed, with the start of the school year, many places become available. However, keep in mind that it’s not impossible to obtain a childcare arrangement for the rest of the year: structures open up, and childminders start their activities.
, parents move or change their childcare arrangements…
Sometimes you have the impression of searching for the perfect solution but aren’t quite sure what you can or cannot compromise on ? A little trick might be to make a list of criteria ranked by importance: you can easily cut back on items at the bottom of the list, but not on those at the very top, otherwise it’s likely you’ll find yourself urgently looking for a new childcare option shortly after resuming work!
Continue breastfeeding or wean my baby to prepare for my return?
If your baby is breastfed, the question may arise of weaning or not in view of the return. Know that contrary to many received ideas, it is quite possible to combine breastfeeding and professional activity, and it’s not even that complicated!
Want to learn more about this topic? Don’t hesitate to visit this comprehensive article which will give you several tips and small tricks to evaluate the feasibility (or not!) of this project for you.
We also invite you, in parallel, to discuss it with a trained health professional (IBCLC certified lactation consultant, midwife). You can also contact breastfeeding support organizations that often offer support groups which can help visualize and exchange with other mothers facing the same situation.
Flexibility and letting go, the key words for a peaceful return to work
Even if, of course, we know that taking care of your little one is not easy and that the "maternity leave" only has the name… Let’s be honest, after several weeks at home, rejoining 7 hours of work (+ commutes, lunch breaks, etc.) into your daily schedule creates some disorganization!
Maybe it’s best, initially, not to set the bar too high and to organize your return gently… Give yourself time to find your bearings, see what new balance is established for your family, and avoid trying to be perfect on all fronts!
Since parents’ time is not unlimited, each family must set its priorities, which will vary depending on personal circumstances
Some people's house will be a bit more messy and the mop will be used a bit less diligently, for others it will go through a period of all ready meals, etc... And that's okay! As long as everything is roughly clean and you have something to eat that's roughly balanced on your plates, well, everything is fine. It will always be time later to get a slightly more organized routine!Don't hesitate to ask for some help in advance: family members or close friends will probably be happy to give you some time to accompany you through this important step of your new life.
A little hello to colleagues before maternity leave ends
If you have a good relationship with your colleagues, don't hesitate to come and introduce your little miracle before you return to work...
Because it's the most beautiful baby in the world and it's essential that they know and can see for themselves! This is also a good way to gradually reconnect with the company, get some news, and if you feel like it and your return is fairly soon, start to see how your return will be organized.
Generally speaking, it is wise to have contact with your manager before your return date to find out what is planned for you, ask if a handover period has been considered with the person who replaced you, etc. Don't hesitate to discuss any specific constraints that may be related to your new needs.
Pampering yourself for a beautiful return
Self-esteem is often somewhat diminished postpartum, we feel fat (baby is born but the kilos, they are still there!), flabby, we lose our hair…
And why not take advantage of the adaptation hours at the nanny or at the nursery for your little one to take a quick trip to the hairdresser to refresh your hairstyle?
After several weeks (months) of taking care of this little heart 24/7, you have earned this moment just for yourself! It can also be an opportunity to refresh your wardrobe so you can approach your return wearing clothes that make you feel beautiful.
Isn't it less stressful like this?
This time you're ready for the big day... Courage, everything will go well for you and your little one!
